Not Marilyn
by AnnCarter
Summary: Ivy Lynn is hurt. But even then, she's not Marilyn Monroe. She's Ivy Lynn, a star in the making. Derek/Ivy, Post Finale.


**Rating: **PG13.

**Pairing: **Derek/Ivy.

**Timeline:** Post finale.

**Others:** Just an idea that came to my mind. Let me know that you think!

**All rights reserved to Smash creators and studio. I absolutely don't own them.**

* * *

"Ivy!"

She could hear the voices calling for her for what seemed to her like ages. She could feel them trying to pull her back to their world, but she refused. She didn't want to go there. All that she has ever found there was pain and loss. She had lost her job, her boyfriend, and even her friends, all to the other young woman whom she now hated. Karen.

"Ivy! Ivy, look at me!"

It was Derek's voice, with his clear British accent she loved. He seemed desperate, though she couldn't tell why. She thought they would all be happy to see her gone. She was of no use to them. Especially not to Derek. Now that she broke up with Dev, she probably took Derek's offer to "be there for her". She didn't doubt he offered that. If he offered Rebecca, why not Karen?

* * *

She was shocked to have found herself in a hospital. The last thing she remembered was her going home with the pills, to continue to take as much of them as she could. At this moment she felt like Marilyn, who was left alone to die, drugged and full of pain. This was her intention. She saw no purpose to staying alive.

She was even more surprised when she opened her eyes and the first person she saw was none other than Derek. He was sitting on a chair by her bed, asleep. Looking at his tired face, she figured he stayed there for at least a night. Who knows how long he's really been by her side?

However, his sleep must've been light, because he woke up as soon as she moved. He seemed relieved to see she was awake. A moment later he shook his head slightly in disbelief, probably seeing the surprised look on her face. Just like before, she couldn't tell why he was there.

"How are you feeling?" He asked softly, leaning towards her.

"I'm… fine," She murmured, still puzzled. "What happened? What am I doing here?"

Still not convinced she was fine, Derek didn't move. "We found you in your apartment with the pills. When we saw you took so many of them we figured we should take you to a hospital."

"We?" She asked, doesn't understanding.

"Tom and I."

"You and Tom cooperated?" She asked, a little smile appearing on her lips.

Derek smiled back at her. "I have no idea why I agreed to that, but yes. We had to get you out of there," He added quietly a moment later. They sat silently for a moment before Derek spoke again. "Ivy, why did you do this?" He asked quietly, softly.

She looked away, not wanting to reply and yet knowing she owes him that. "It was like then… Like Marilyn. She took my life. She stole it. I imagine you've already slept?" Not letting him response, she continued. "_I_ was supposed to be Marilyn. And then you go and tell me she's got something I don't?"

Her stop to breathe allowed surprised Derek to speak. "What on earth are you talking about?" was all he could ask.

She could feel the tears rising in her throat. "You think I didn't know about you and Rebecca?" She replied angrily. "I knew. You told me you loved me, and then it was as if you tried to do everything to prove the opposite. Karen is your star now, why not sleep with her? She's single, so this time she won't have a problem when you'll ask her, if you haven't already. And then the two of you could live happily ever after like Marilyn and DiMaggio never got to!"

For a long moment Derek seemed completely surprised. Then, finally, he seemed to have understood everything. "True," He admitted. "I did it. At the beginning of our relationship I told you I'll do whatever I can to ensure the success of this musical. If what I had to do is to sleep with her in order to have her functioning, I did it. It didn't mean I liked it. And it certainly did not mean I stopped loving you." He paused, and then continued softly. "You are a star. You deserve to be a star. But Karen has something about her… As I told you, I started seeing her. Seeing her as Marilyn. Tom, Julia, Eileen- none of them know why I chose Karen. You do."

The blonde young woman lying in the hospital bed stared at him, not sure what to say. She tried to control her thoughts and feelings, put them in some order that would make sense, but she couldn't. She truly loved Derek, and losing his support and love was a terrible blow for her. But she couldn't just believe him, didn't know whether or not she should truly trust him.

"Ivy," He looked into her eyes seriously, "What are you doing here?"

She wanted to tell him it was because of him, because of Karen, because of the musical. She wanted to tell him she needed to do it. She wanted to tell him that she couldn't take the pain and the disappointment. But none of those answers answered his questions.

"Being Marilyn," She whispered eventually.

Derek thought for a moment before nodding. But she didn't let him speak. Instead, she continued, explaining herself. "Marilyn lost every meaningful thing in her life. She turned to drugs. She saw no point to continuing her life."

"As did you," He said quietly.

She nodded. "As did I," She repeated quietly.

"Ivy… You're not Marilyn," Derek's voice was so quiet, she knew she was the only one who could hear him. "You're Ivy Lynn. You've got a full life ahead of you. You may don't get to play Marilyn, but you can still learn from her mistakes. You can be someone else. And I haven't left you."

That last statement made her look up at him, surprised and bitter. "It didn't feel like it."

He looked at her thoughtfully for a moment before he spoke. "I'm sorry. I may have done more than I should have for this musical," he admitted. "But that won't happen again. I will be here from now on. And you… you won't be Marilyn. You're not her." He added sternly. "You're Ivy Lynn, a star."

She nodded in understanding. "Not Marilyn," She whispered. "Ivy."


End file.
